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Love Day

February 14, 2011

Image from Jack Cards

P and I don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day.  Is that weird?  My theory is that his birthday two days later sort of maxes us out in the celebration department.  Any other couples out there not celebrating, or is this just something that my husband has convinced me is normal?

Since I think that makes us seem totally abnormal and unloving, I’m going to share something we’ve been doing since the start of the year that has been a helpful tool in the love and marriage department.  Based on a post on the blog Today’s Letters, P and I started doing “Tuesday Talks.”  Every Tuesday, no-matter where we are or how the day went, we ask each other the same four questions:

1. How did you feel loved this past week?
2. What does your upcoming week look like?
3. How would you feel most loved & encouraged in the days ahead?
4. How would you best feel pursued in sex / intimacy this week?

At first it was actually fairly awkward to answer the questions with a straight face, which is kind of sad considering that we are married and should be comfortable talking about those sorts of things, right?  It’s actually gotten a whole lot easier though, and I think as it gets easier our answers become more honest, which really does help shape how the week goes.  It sounds silly, but it’s actually been very good.  It also doesn’t generally take very long.  At most maybe a half hour, which is really a pretty small amount of time to shut down our computers and actually talk to each other without distractions.

4 Comments leave one →
  1. February 14, 2011 10:57 pm

    E and I don’t celebrate either, at least not really. We used to go out to dinner the day before or after, but this year it was just buying lunch from a local bakery (Friday – the most convenient day this week) and watching it in front of a NOVA episode we had been wanting to see. I think I’d rather have that than forced or stereotypical romance. I love those four questions…am going to ponder adding them into our routine!

  2. February 15, 2011 3:40 am

    I love the idea. Never stop talking to each other.

  3. Dad permalink
    February 15, 2011 4:28 am

    For Valentine’s Day weekend, we went to Napa Valley, then Pt. Reyes. We had a great time — I loved it. We had a very memorable two days; especially the last day. We did that in lieu of flowers and candy.

    Why am I kind of left with the feeling that it didn’t measure up because there were no flowers or candy?

  4. February 21, 2011 2:11 am

    I love the idea of asking those questions. My husband and I have been married for 7 years and together for over 12, but I agree it could be kinda awkward. I am going to suggest this and see what happens. I find I think he can read my mind when he can’t. Thanks for the great suggestion.

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