I am so so so so so hard on myself when I’m learning new skills. I need to work on this but I’m not exactly sure where to start.
So today I started a new job at my job. I knew going into it that there would be a steep learning curve, but they wanted me to do it anyway and I know it will be great experience in the long run. Anyway, real training started today and basically ended with me in a panic attack and much crying after I got home.
I’m going to go ahead and blame this on homeschooling, but during my formative years I didn’t have many people judging me in a formal setting. When I did start school I realized I hated “getting in trouble” which to me meant any criticism, so I learned to study up before class, get near perfect grades, ingratiate myself to teachers, etc, etc. I can describe in pretty vivid detail the times I’ve actually been criticized by an authority figure in my life–they are few and far between that’s for sure.
Now I’m not in trouble at my job (at least as far as I know!), but I do feel like I’m under-prepared. It’s not really the sort of thing where I can sit with a book and study up before I show up for work that day, because each situation is so unique (though I am also hitting the books). What really needs to happen is me feeling more confident so that I’m not afraid to say what I actually know, while at the same time being receptive to criticism without wanting to cry and feeling like poop about myself (losing all confidence). I need to find my voice. I feel like I found that with midwifery, but I did go though a similar learning curve at the beginning where I wanted to know more and be better at my job than I initially was. It sucks, but that’s the way it is with new things, right?
Any tips for how to make these transition periods easier?