Pregnancy catch-up: Pregnant, tumor, or psychotic break?
Since we were keeping the pregnancy a secret, I thought I’d do a little bit of pregnancy catch-up on here.
P and I weren’t supposed to be able to get pregnant. Some of you figured that out a long time ago, and some people continued to ask us for years and years when we were going to get on that baby-making train already (Hint–Stop asking married people when they are going to have babies. Infertility is way, way more common than you think. Plus, asking is annoying and none of your business).. I won’t go into all the details here, but suffice it to say we have enough issues between us to warrant a group of highly trained medical professionals telling us we couldn’t get pregnant without IVF. That whole ordeal made 2010 a pretty crappy, sad year, and I was more than happy to see 2010 turn into 2011, get into nursing school, and but the whole baby thing behind us for a good three years (that was the plan–finish nursing school, then figure out how we’d come up with the 30k+ it takes to either adopt or do IVF).
I’m no stranger to weird cycles and all sorts of random crazy stuff going on with my body, but I’ve been charting my cycles since 2008 and in early October I realized that something was up. My period was nowhere to be seen and I was having frequent meltdowns about needing to have a baby ASAP (like I said, I’d put that way, way on the back-burner).
For anyone who has tried to get pregnant you get in the habit of taking pregnancy tests all the damn time–even months I knew, based on ultrasound and all sorts of other technology, that I’d 100% not ovulated and thus could not in any way be pregnant. But since January I’d never had the urge. Not even once. I was done. But after series of weird events (randomly starting prenatal vitamins 2 weeks early “because they are a good vitamin,” having weird pregnancy/baby dreams, and feeling pretty confident I knew exactly when I got knocked up) I couldn’t get thoughts of pregnancy out of my mind. I decided, about 20 minutes before I needed to leave for class, that I should take a test. Just to be sure I was being insane. So I find a totally expired pregnancy test in my bathroom and take it. It was (as we all know) very positive. Like no waiting 3 minutes–I’m pretty sure the word “pregnant” popped up before I’d even peed on it.
So I figure that the test is expired and that I’ve somehow willed it to be positive. Either that or I have a tumor that’s secreting baby hormones. I didn’t have any more tests, and now had about 15 minutes left before I needed to get to class so I remember that ovulation tests can sometimes be used as pregnancy tests if you have enough baby hormone (HCG) in your system. I find two non-expired tests and take them. Both positive. Even when I was trying to get pregnant I never got a positive ovulation test (See above, not being able to get pregnant, problem). I throw all the tests in a drawer, take this really horrible picture of myself to document the anxiety attack I’m having, and run to class with my housemate (who I’m trying to make small talk with, without letting her know that I’m clearly having a psychotic break and/or have a tumor).
To make what’s becoming a very long story a bit shorter, on my first break from class I confided in a midwifey friend what had gone down that morning and she encouraged me to get myself to student health to take a non-expired test and stop driving myself insane. One more test, and an appointment at Kaiser the next day for an ultrasound, proved that I was, indeed (5ish weeks) pregnant. Not crazy. And no tumor. Or at least a very baby-shaped tumor.
So that’s the beginning of where we are now. I’ll continue to try and get everyone up to date as I have time!